Hi. My parents named me Toby and I've been thinking about resolutions...
Several years ago, I had 85 percent of my stomach removed. Then, I had a "sleeve" made of staples, stitched like a baseball glove, replace the part of my stomach which was removed put into place which governs how much I can physically put into my stomach.
Several years later, I don't put as much physical food in... but I've found that I can take in empty calories in the form of wine, stuff I mix with vodka, or whatever, and it will not be my friend when it comes to weight loss.
Ah, the journey. Health. Wellness. Weight loss. Life.
The "journey..." is a bitch.
It really is.
We're hooked on food because it's basically crack. And, when you are an addict - and let's face it - we're addicted to food - it's even tougher to kick it.
But, as I look at a new year, I'm thinking to myself I can use what I was taught in my gastric sleeve journey to get back to what I need to do to be where I was when I had the brain injury and started a new career journey.
"Normal people don't take that sort of change on all at once, Toby..." a therapist said to me.
But I did.
And now, thinking about resolutions... I "resolve" to use the knowledge - and the coaching - I've received and still have available to me - to get back on the path I was on. It won't be easy. In fact, I can tell you, as I sit here enjoying some cauliflower mashed potatoes and some sugar-free jello - two staples of the almost 100-percent liquid diet I was once on - that it's anything but easy.
I went for three months before surgery... on an all liquid diet. I went for three months post surgery... on a full liquid diet. So I could heal.
I've done it before, I'll do it again.
But here's the thing.
I want to get back on the path I was on because now, I think I have some things in life to live for I've never had before. The real idea of a partner in life who can be that "happily ever after." I have a daughter in college now who will eclipse anything I've ever done in life, and I want to be there to see her do it. I'm about to buy a house... if I can ever find the right one, assuming it all falls into place.
When I had the 'surgery' before... I didn't have 'these things...'
These things -- which make me... me. Which bring me joy.
Now, I do. And because of that - because I'm doing things for the right reasons -- the ME reasons -- I have a feeling I'm going to be even more successful than I was before I smacked my head after that concert.
So, when it comes to "resolutions..." I have one.
I resolve to live my life for me. For the first time in my life.
Damn, that was refreshing to write.
Why did it take me so long?
Happy New Year!