Here we are in wedding season once again, but it’s not who’s saying “I do” that has us all talking this year, it’s those couples who feel like they’re rushing to the altar. You’ve probably seen the headlines about Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson. They were in what sources called a “very casual” relationship in late May and three weeks later they were engaged.
AndAshley Iaconetti andJared Haibon from “Bachelor Nation” are also engaged after reportedly just coupling up romantically in March. So is it safe to put a ring on it so soon? According to relationship expertTerri Orbuch, Ph.D., speeding to an engagement does raise a few red flags.
She explains that it could be a sign the lovebirds really don’t know each other well, and that they’re blinded by passion, lust, and the excitement of a new relationship. But that feeling of wanting to be with someone all the time may fade and two months isn’t that long to “build trust, identify whether you have similar key life values, and handle disagreements and conflicts well together,” Orbuch explains.
We can definitely tell from these couples’ social media output that they’re very passionate and into each other, but it takes time to develop trust in your partner and to be able to see them for who they really are, faults and all. According to marriage and family therapist Marissa Nelon, the three-month mark is when couples tend to move to the “attachment” phase of a relationship and start feeling a companionship that goes beyond physical attraction.
And since Ariana and Pete and Ashley and Jared may not have reached that stage yet, it’s risky to get engaged so soon. Of course, all couples are different and if you really know yourself and what you want in a partner and in life, Orbuch says a couple with only a few months under their belt could potentially last a lifetime.