There’s no shortage of advice out there about what keeps romance alive, from having more sex to good communication, everyone has an opinion of what works. But according to researcher John Gottman,who’s spent decades studying relationships, there’s one quality that matters more than everything else when it comes to making it last: Generosity.
Gottman found in one studythat couples who experience generosity frequently are five times more likely to say they’re “very happy” with their coupledom than those who don’t. And the spirit of giving doesn’t have to be shown in some huge way, it can be in little things like having their partner make them a cup of coffee or offering to do the dishes.
And generosity is important in the bedroom, too. Of the 1,400 couples surveyed for the study, married men and women who reported “above-average bedroom action” were 10 to 13 times more likely to feel content. And the more generous their partners were in the bedroom, the more sexually satisfied the participant felt.
So basically, sending your partner the message that they’re valuable and important goes a long way toward helping the relationship last, both inside and outside the bedroom.