My son Donato celebrated his 5th birthday last week. Yes, my son has grown up a lot in that time frame...but so have I. I remember the day he was born. I was overwhelmed with every possible emotion. Love, fear, anxiety, doubt, happiness...you name it, I felt it.
I'm not gonna lie. The first year was tough. I suffered from postpartum depression/anxiety. Donato was a colicky baby. He didn't sleep well. He didn't sleep through the night until he was almost a year old. My crazy schedule had me in a constant state of exhaustion. However, my schedule also allowed me to spend a lot of time with Donato.
The turning point came when he was 3 1/2 years old. That's when he started pre-school. I knew it was going to be an exciting time for him. He would be socializing with other kids. He'd be learning and playing with peers...instead of just me. He never cried on his first day...and neither did I. It felt AMAZING to have some "me time" for the first time since he was born. I was able to run errands more efficiently. I was also able to carve some time for quick naps. My mental health improved considerably.
Now that we are well passed bottles, diapers, pacifiers and cribs....I'm enjoying motherhood more than ever. I love my son so much it hurts. It's scary to love someone that much isn't it? Like the thought of something happening to them is unbearable.
We've entered what I call a "delicious" phase. He makes me laugh. He showers me with kisses. He is curious about the world. He is perfect...and he's mine. I know I'm going to miss this stage a lot.
My wish for Donato on his birthday is the same every year. I hope he always feels loved. I hope he's healthy and happy...and that he helps make the world a better place.