Chilli Conquers Her Insecurity and Wears a Bikini For the First Time

 

Before I left for our annual trip to the beach, I shared a blog about buying my first bikini. I hadn't worn a two-piece since I was 5-years old because I was way too insecure to show my flabby stomach in public. A couple of months ago, I did a boudoir photo shoot that helped me feel more comfortable in my own skin. It's a work in progress. I didn't just wake up one day and say "Look at me and all my flaws...aren't I beautiful?" Nope. I still struggle with self-acceptance...but I took a big step. I WORE my bikini during our trip to the beach last week. Sure...it helped that it wasn't on a crowded beach...but there were some people around and I can honestly say I didn't cover myself up when I walked around.

I think it was our second day, when I asked my husband to do something I never thought I would. I asked him to take a PICTURE of me wearing the bikini. I was playing with Donato in the water. He was so happy. His joy was infectious. I was having a great time with my family on vacation, making memories. I didn't want to avoid the camera because of my insecurities. One day when he's older, I want him to have pictures of us playing on the beach. I'd hate to deprive him of those memories because of MY issues.

So...the next thing I did was even more shocking. I posted the photo on social media. I didn't do it to "fish" for compliments. I did it to prove to myself that (at least in that moment), I was okay with any criticism that came my way. I felt "confident" enough to share my biggest insecurity with "the world." I also did it to show other women that they're not alone in their struggle. No matter how successful we are...and no matter how much we are loved...we all have insecurities. If I could somehow get to place mentally where I did something I never thought I could do...then so can you.

 
Toby + Chilli Mornings

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