Ya know, I'm noticing anymore that there are a lot of people... like me. Well, like you and me.
Single. Dating. Some are coming out of a marriage type of a situation, others are finding that after building a career, they probably need to start working on life. And, while I used to kinda stay quiet about it, my therapist and others have reminded me that, ya know what, I'm around to talk about things that are important to me... and which are important to, well... we. Because sometimes, someone has to speak up. And that's why I'm posting stuff like this... which breaks down how tough it is to date... to chat someone up at a bar. Trust me, you aren't alone in that anxiety you feel when you think, "hmmm.... maybe if I were cuter/hotter/whatever I'd have a chance..."
So, that's why you'll read more of me posting this sorta stuff here. Because we - you and I - aren't alone. Because it's not easy and we need all the advice we can get... and because, like a coach once told me, "you miss 1000% of the shots you don't take."
So take your shot. And read on...
The movies make it look so easy to meet up with the hottie at the bar, the people lock eyes and it’s all over. They meet, exchange names, flirt, and by the end of the night they’re making out and maybe even going home together. But how do we make that happen in real life? It’s totally doable, just not rom-com easy.
According to relationship expert Dr. Darcy Sterling, it’s all about having confidence and putting yourself out there. She says this is how to catch the eye of the person you’re crushing on at the loud, crowded, and dark bar:
- Make eye contact- This is the key to showing the person you’re interested in that they’ve caught your eye and if they’re feeling it, too, they’ll lock eyes with you right back, Sterling says.
- Put down your phone- Scrolling through your phone might make it seem like you’re bored or wish you were somewhere else. Stay in the moment and off your phone.
- Step away from your squad- Don’t let your besties be a barrier to meeting new people. It may be less intimidating for your crush to approach you if you’re not surrounded by your friends.
- Send them a note with a drink- If you’re still trying to catch their eye, Sterling suggests sending a flirty note through the bartender. Keep it light and fun, something like, “Hi, couldn’t help but notice you. Would love to meet!” And if you’re really feeling adventurous, include your phone number, too.
- Approach them yourself- You don’t have to wait for the cutie at the bar to make the first move, you can walk over and start a conversation yourself. It shows you’re confident, which is sexy, and makes a strong first impression.
- Don’t use a cheesy line- Pickup lines sound so unnatural, so skip the cringeworthy line and Sterling says, “If you’re feeling awkward, own it.” So you could start with: “I have no idea how people do this so effortlessly, but I knew I had to come and say hello.” Then the ball’s in their court and you can feel good about going for it, even if nothing comes of it.
Source: Elite Daily