TYRRANY!
This judge in Cobb County, Georgia has BANNED the ELF ON THE SHELF from his county due to EMOTIONAL DISTRESS and other psychological issues which torment kids... and parents during the holidays!
Don't worry... it's a MOCK ORDER... but it's funny!
Cobb County Superior Court Chief Judge Robert Leonard posted a mock order on Twitter banishing these elves.
The TWEET reads: “Tired of living in Elf on the Shelf tyranny? Not looking forward to the Elf forgetting to move and causing your kids emotional distress? I am a public servant and will take the heat for you. My gift to tired parents.”
The judge wrote in his order: “Inexplicably, Elves sometimes move and don’t move overnight. When those Elves do not move, it leaves our children of tender years in states of extreme emotional distress.” He recalled a “horrific incident” in his own home when “three children were sent to school in tears, with one child being labeled an ‘Elf Murderer’ and accused of making the elf ‘lose his magic.’”
Given the risks of such emotional damage — and supply chain issues caused by the COVID-19 pandemic — the judge wrote that he had no choice but to banish the elves from Cobb County.